Saturday, August 19, 2017

Lessons In Life

"Wasn't ____ your bestie?" Her words spilled out of her mouth after a girl who had a 'suicide'-esque online scare rattled everyone in the community appeared back in my life briefly just to disappear after spending a short amount of time together.

I never go into relationships with someone with bestie right off the bat, while some have done so to me without either of us EARNING that title (beyond the makeup, beyond parties, beyond the superficial) as if we are 4 years old. Why would I want a fair weather friend bestie that runs over boundaries , who is two-faced, ready to speak mean things in my face away from social media and screenshots and at the ready to do dirty shit to get back at me for someone else? Who really isn't there for me other than in my selfies? Who tells me that they do not care about my problems after listening to them whine about their things? Who make rape jokes and I have a black friend jokes? Who idealizes me and does not take me for the human that I am? Who thinks that if we spent some time together, they can fake it for social media.

A blossoming friendship =/= besties
A person who does not respect your boundaries, who does not respect you =/= a real friend (not the social media 'friend in your list', or superficial friend that you meet at a bar when everyone is inebriated. )

BUT! Being around these people, with blogging and event making at the FOREFRONT (we were event makers...kind of), I can see where I went wrong. I never questioned the 'bestie' thing, and I never held these people that came too quickly in my life accountable for the shitty and disrespectful things they said or even did to other people. My heart and arms were open for them as if they were new members of my family.... Or as if I was their shoulder to cry on.

For Soft Spoken people and they Shy People:
I am a bit soft-spoken (and I try to overlook things that don't need a response), and that does wayyy more harm than good. Continuing to be around people who hurt you has only done more harm than good. Giving people the benefit of the doubt to people who use you as a punching bag because you don't say anything back does more harm than good. Continuing to work for a person who fucked over an indie artist and video maker's work does more harm than good (and just not what I stand for. ) And because of these people, these teachers if you will, I learned a lot!

People will fuck you over if you don't tell them how to behave (who knew you had to teach an "adult" how to act?)

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